I have often thought, and even said, that if I were to die and go to hell everyone would be in junior high!! I can vividly remember 6th grade, my first year at Kaysville Jr. High! I was taller than most of the boys my age and curvier than all of the girls in any grade….or at least I thought I was. Shopping for my first bras was devastating, but then wearing one for the first time was even worse. Why? Because while my family was seated at the table enjoying dinner, my older brother, Brad, flipped my bra strap while making some comment about me being old enough to wear a bra. I was just mortified! I still remember the hot color that flooded my face and the embarrassment I felt at everyone knowing!
Menstruation. What kind of a word is that!? In my young mind I mixed up the word menstruation with that of ministration. I would shutter each week when the sacrament was administered in church! What was a ministering angel? (You can only imagine my thoughts of bleeding angels.) It was several years until I realized that the administrator of my high school (a man) could not possibly be menstruating!
As I reflect on the awkwardness and even self-induced “shame” involved in becoming a woman, I know that I want my daughter’s “coming of age” experience to be much more positive, less secretive, and even appreciated!
Making it so:
• Long before age 12, talking about body parts (using correct terminology) and their functions. In the process of these on-going conversations (not just a one-time “check it off the list” event) communicating the reverence I feel for the body. For my body, her body, and everyone else’s bodies. Bodies are sacred. They house our spirits, and as women, we have the capacity to directly channel Father’s spirit children through our bodies.
• Having healthy choices of food. Being actively involved in sports, nature, and recreation. Teaching her to love what she can do because she has an amazing body!
• Help her understand changes that will take place as she grows from a girl into a woman. Her hips will widen, nipples get tender, breasts grow, vocal cords thicken-lowering the voice, hair on the body begins to grow, sexual thoughts and stirrings begin to occur, her period will start, sometimes she won’t understand her emotions. All of this is normal and desirable! Tell her how your puberty experience was. Try to speak positively about the changes. (Not that her period is “a curse”, but that it is the way a woman’s body can nourish a growing baby when she chooses to become a mother.) I think it is also important to be honest. I don’t enjoy my period much. I have yet to meet a woman to say, “Yes! My period started! I am sooo excited!” It is a sacrifice to menstruate. If we allow the spirit to guide our thinking, we can view this sacrifice as a way of becoming more holy. It isn’t fun, sometimes it is painful, and at times it can cause some distress. However, it also is the means by which we can work with a husband and our God in creating life. That is a holy! That is worth the sacrifice.
• Prepare her by showing her how to use pads and tampons. Have some hygiene products in her backpack, bathroom, and even in the car. While at the store together, walk through the feminine hygiene section and see if she has any questions. Talk about the varieties, what you choose to use, and why. This experience will normalize her period. As she realizes that every woman alive, between the ages of roughly 12-50 menstruate, she will better understand that she is NOT the only one going through this experience.
• “Becoming a Woman Day!” When that first menses occurs, celebrate! Go to lunch or buy some new shoes. Make it a happy day, one that she will remember with fondness as the years go by.
